I’m gonna be writing something very personal here in a long time, it serves as an open mail to certain people! It doesn’t have to be read in a manner where you disappoint me, or in a manner way I am the victim, just read it as it is.

Since graduating from school, I have always knew that my calling is to see ALL the schools in Malaysia changed and moved for Jesus and I strongly believe my calling and I am willing to be sold out for it. However, 4 years after leaving schools you know what I find the biggest challenge is? It’s the CHURCH, it isn’t my desire to put down any church, and I honestly am saddened with the fact that churches like these exist among us. “The Biggest obstacles churches have when reaching out to schools, is the church”.

When I did what I did the last time, I knew it was almost a onetime event, I prayed it wasn’t there was dreams there was visions and of course there were loads of desire. (I guess there still is if not I wouldn’t be writing this?) I thank and praised God for everything He did and still will do, and acknowledge that through it all, all things came from Him. But it saddened and hurts me that we have jokers out there calling themselves leaders who preach against their own kind, not because they are not doing it right or they are doing it the unbiblical way, but because they are doing it so well they are afraid the possibility of sheep stealing is just too eminent.

This issue of stealing is like migration, I mean come on has any church declare openly that their church is against migration? If you have bravo because if you have I think then you have maybe earned the right to stop “sheep stealing” from taking place. Yes, many teens can’t really decide at their age can they? And that’s why they are kononya being swayed from left to right, but I want to believe this, if you lead a strong youth ministry, and have faith in the leaders you have raised and taught your teens well, why then should you fear another church “stealing” your sheep? Like hello………

Churches in Malaysia are too busy too occupied with how awesome we are to the point we fail and can’t look beyond the four walls of the church, some bigger churches also have four floors to look at =) and so they go around preaching “their gospel” that tongues has seized, that God doesn’t need loud worship, that the holy spirit isn’t here anymore and a whole load of things that really belong to the geothermal electric plant.

After having said all that I have said, thank you for giving me that opportunity to serve along you guys =) it was much honour and joy. I guess its time to move on to much much greater things, than to remain in something that will remain where it shall remain. The teens that I continue to share my life with, will make their own decision whether or not to serve alongside the next team, I shall give them my outmost support and blessings, however if they do decide to let go and focus on “The thing which is greater” I pray that we shall all know how to be gracious since the advice was given to my teens already, that people from this particular group of people should stay away from the team, since THEY ARE ALWAYS LATE AND HAVE TO ALWAYS LEAVE EARLY. I take to this statement personally, and shall allow God to deal with whatever unclean gossip that has been going on behind our backs. Yes I love each one of you, and when I gave, I gave all that I had and have, and since its time to take back and hold back and direct the strength and energy that I have to else where I shall do that. But please don’t make them feel like their efforts weren’t appreciated, yes they had made many mistakes, but ultimately we all do make mistakes. Sorry we don’t produce “perfect” leaders; if you do maybe you can share with me the secrets. It hurts and I am saddened that it has come to a place as this.

I shall continue serving Jesus and the schools in the way and the doors which has been opened to us, and you can count on me when I say this, if I gave you guys a hundred percent I will give these projects and career which I have ahead of me 500%. I have a goal to meet a target to reach and a people to share life with, life as it is, is already busy and exciting. I give my blessings and love to everyone of you guys and trust that it will indeed be another awesome year for each of you.

I want to die like this…..

“He was truly a man after God’s heart, as a boy crazy about the CF, as a man crazy about lives and reaching his community and nation for Jesus.”

I attended a funeral today, it was the funeral of a very dear man’s brother in law, who has gone back to be with the Lord (I say this with full confidence, so much so I want to die now, because I know I will be with my Jesus, but of course I want to finish my missions here on earth too).

Uncle Sabu, have had 2 heart attacks in the past 10 years, and this time was the worst of it all, when he had his second attack 5 years ago and the doctors telling him, that his heart was weak and therefore shouldn’t be so active and what not already, he chose to go on missions trips to Medan Indonesia, Kampungs and jungles to reach out to the orang asli villagers and what not. He left behind, his mother, his wife, 4 amazing children, a whole bunch of people who loved him, oh ya not forgetting his van, his bank accounts, his baju, his wealth and so much more and he left them all behind, what he took with him was his faith, and his greatest legacy – Serving God in the mission field selflessly.

Yes we all need to eat our 3 meals daily, we all need money to function on this world and what not! But many a times we become slaves to our own pride and slave into something we all don’t mind having more- Money. As I ponder upon the simple service that was happening, between the Buddhist on our right side in the PJ crematorium, I was just in awe that even in death, we think about money, we make our relatives burn paper money like there is not enough trees to chop, we burn servants like as though we can teleport people using the flames and when they reach hell then give life to this servants, comparing it to a man and a church who was sending off some one knowing in full knowledge that he will be with Jesus, and he will lack nothing at all, wow I think that’s faith.

I want to die one day, leaving a legacy behind saying I have given my all to Jesus, I want to know full well in my spirit that if I have gone anytime, my life will be an inspiration to the others, and my love for my Lord so well known throughout generations, just like David being known to be after God’s heart. Am I perfect no I am not, but so wasn’t David, he lusted over someone else’s wife, had her and killed her husband; well I don’t think I have gone that far yet or maybe I have? But if I actually believe that God’s grace is sufficient for me, and that His death on the cross has set me free, I want to live like I am free from sin and guilt; I want to live in the knowledge that there is no judgment for those who are found in the Lord.

Do I need to go full time to serve Jesus now? Well I guess the answer is not yet, but I know one thing for sure, there isn’t a happier moment in my life compared to the times I am in church, well I guess yes the people have a big part in it, but more importantly its God’s sweet presence. I love His house, and I know I want more people to experience my Jesus in this house. As I continue to labor and serve in the coming months, I know I will be challenge all the time, with financial worries, stressful workloads, dumb Malaysian traffic and what not! But that’s life, and its meant to be celebrated. I have so many people whom I love and know that are living such bitter lives, because of how things were when they were young and what not, and I have close relatives who lives in bitterness too, well people might say I don’t understand, YES I DON’T! I don’t understand how can you call yourself a believer and have so much pain? I don’t understand how you can call yourself a believer and carry so much hurt. This pass few years of joy and living a life without bitterness (I think) have been the best years of my life, when people scream at me or misunderstand me I can only think in my head, they really didn’t know better, really its just like whatever!

Life isn’t forever, if you choose to live a sad life, full of bitterness why not just jump now? So much joy, so much frustration holding up inside me because I am desperate for more people to really be able to just enjoy this joy I am feeling deep down inside. I don’t know when I will be ready, but when I am I just want to dive into ministry and give my heart, life, wealth and time to Jesus.

God forbid that I backslide, God forbid that I find affection in a girl who is far from you what more an unbeliever, God forbid I walk away and turning my back from my calling for earthly treasure and wealth. I am in a journey finding and asking God of what my destiny is, and He is giving me favor in a lot of areas and I just want to wait on Him.

Jesus You are all that I have, all that I want to be, and everything I am, I owe to You Lord.

I want to die a SERVANT, but a servant of the most High =)

I think some people have been visiting my blog to see what my response is towards this whole Allah issue. Haha and to be honest I have been dying to find time to write this post, it’s not going to be how “smart” our government is, to be honest I feel so sorry for them, they constantly make a fool out of themselves, in 2 years times they will really be jobless and I bet no one will dare employ such smart people. Ok here we go!

Pastor Kenneth preached an amazing sermon the Sunday before the attacks took place, THOSE WHO KNOW THEIR GOD WILL BE STRONG AND CARRY OUT GREAT EXPLOITS. I know my people know our God well enough that you can smash our cars, burn our buildings (since a church is a group of people not the venue ), maybe burn our homes, kill our dogs and steal my fish, that doesn’t change the fact that I have a big God, and His name is Jesus.

I have 3 dogs at home, they are all in 3 different sizes, those who know dogs should know that small dogs appear to be always fiercer and barks all the time, but big dogs aren’t bothered and in fact I always call my dogs “belagak”. What I am trying to say is that, the amount of confidence you have in you will determine the way you act, speak, and proclaim things.

Oh you have no idea how much joy there is in me with this whole churches on the news papers appearing everyday. Please don’t take my articles to a new level and say this Christian loves to be on fire =_= read this whole post first. Pastor Sandra put it in a funny way, the “the churches finally made it to the news” haha…… simple as this (the plans the devil intended to break us, God intended to build us) Just like Joseph if he wasn’t sold by His brothers to Egypt, he would have never become the Prime Minister of Egypt. I pray that in the coming days, our churches will up our efforts in loving our community through efforts like Recess Revolution, and other efforts out there to show the world that there is hope and there is love in Jesus. In fact churches, CFs and any groups who comes together should make an effort to just go out there and bless someone, this year this season, may God’s house be full of new salvations through the teaching of His word and the love that His people show to those who have yet to know Him.

God laid upon my heart a few plans and ideas, which I am still asking God to teach me, I believe now it’s the time to be bold, lets not challenge the status quo because we have nothing better to do and itching for a fight, but lets challenge the status quo because THESE people also need JESUS, no law, no one, and nothing should stop them from coming to know God. Allah or no Allah the rescue efforts must go on, with church building or no church building the body of Christ must still meet. If you know your God today, wake up tomorrow and give your best to your employer, teacher, parents and community.

Oh ya this is the only time I will use this word pardon me, to HELL with church disunity, but also its time churches who play church on Sunday start waking up. There is a nation to save, a cause to serve and a God given mission to fulfill are we just playing routine or are we effective. Arise oh you sluggard!!!!!!

Where are all our Chinese minister’s who claims to help defend and protect the rights of the Chinese people? Or other ministers who claim to protect the minorities in this country? Oh ya, I forgot they should be freaking busy packing their bags preparing for the next general elections.

If the court has already ruled that we have the right to usage of the word of Allah why then should they still make a whooo ha of the dumb judiciary system which they themselves have come out with? If the judiciary can be manipulated and twisted by their pride and ego must well do away with the democratic system in our country and start dictatorship and erm maybe communism?

Christians should wake up to realized that persecution and tough days aren’t too far ahead of us, if churches still want to act like social gatherings and party all day long, soon the party wont be so happening would it? I guess people should wake up and smell the governments fart

It’s just bizarre to me, non Christians having open house during Christmas? Dressing up as Santa? Taking pride in the fact that there is a free flow of alcohol? Well I guess someone is going to come after me right now, for writing such a post but maybe my confusion and uneasy feeling have caused me to have a deep sense of anger! It was funny to see an altar with a Christmas tree with a star all in that same living room.

As Malaysians we love to celebrate and have fun and eat every time there is an opportunity, but I guess we are so full of ourselves having fun we always forget the real reasons behind all these festivities and celebrations that were passed down, in fact beer companies just love festive seasons, it has become a so duh thing for everyone, party = alcohol. I have come to a place where I feel that alcohol is so dirty its very existence in some places defiles and contaminates the purity of a house, family and even friendship.

Blessed Christmas =)

Truly we don’t really know if Jesus was born on This day or not, but I know that my Jesus was born and brought to this earth to die for my sins and rose again on the 3^rd day. Thank you God for giving us Jesus today, that we might have hope and freedom and truly acknowledge that You are good and God over our lives.

This year, I haven’t been able to buy anything for anyone to be honest, not even the ones I love the most. I haven’t have that luxury of doing all this shopping and stuff, my timing and 2 weeks back in Malaysia have just been non stop cooking, marketing, cooking marketing GOD HELP ME! But I really enjoy doing it.

I pray that I will find some time within the next few hours to rest and remain quite in the Lord and just reflect upon His goodness and continue to surrender to Him. Jesus Lord Thank you for everything.

Blessed Christmas to all of you once again, Loads of LOVE.

Its all about you JESUS

BOOK I : Psalms 1-41

Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.

² But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

³ He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

⁴ Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.

⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

⁶ For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

There is just so much injustice in the world today, I was going through the blogs of our DAP leaders, man it’s like as though they are fighting a lost cause, it’s like as though this nation is beyond help anymore! So much unjust crap happening around us and in order this unjust crap keeps happening evil man need to exist.

The pass few months have not been an easy one, with a lot of things going on sometimes it burdens my heart, other times it hurts my heart, and many a times it brings me to my knees. For some time now I am living at the mercies of others, sometimes it is far from easy to uphold Godly principles, sometimes it is almost impossible! But as I continue to hold on to Jesus, His word continues to stir in my spirit a deeper sense and urgency to honor His word. Today I heard from someone very dear that a man who tried to squeeze me out of my socks was sacked from his position. I guess there isn’t a perfect answer to live, as to how to be a Christian in the market place.

Many times I feel and think if I become a company owner, I will not have to live by the wishes and mercies of having to endure an evil employer; however I have to deal with banks, suppliers, rowdy customers, competitors who wish to see my exit and death if possible and many other challenges. But if I have to work for a company or someone, my whole life is literally controlled by them! Having to put up with their mood swings, their injustice and of course my salary is determined by them. When you are studying, if you can suck up to certain lecturers you get the exam question, if you are a bumi you get the scholarship, if you are a Najib’s son you get what you want. There are just too many injustice and nonsense rubbish that is corrupting our Faith and our Land. Of course there is the other issues, to support abortion or not to? To drink alcohol or not?  To marry only a Christian partner or not? To date when you are ready, or when you feel like it? To bribe the policemen or not to? And the list goes on and on……

A friend in my class say, well that’s the way it is. The world is ruled by having relationships and corruption! But I dare tell you this, as believers if we choose to honor God in our daily dealings of different challenging issue He will see us through. The problem is this, do you believe it or do you not believe it? Do you trust that God can deliver your or do you think its too late now, I will never find a husband I shall just go for the monk in the temple. What is it? Honestly its either you believe Him or you don’t. there isn’t  any other choice, if Jesus is the way the truth and the life, than we can trust Him fully and know that my Jesus will provide, that my Jesus will open up doors which we have never expected or imagined in our life! Oh come on, let a generation of people who will say all or nothing rise up, God of God wont you help us cause a deeper stirring in our hearts,  wont You teach us to hold on to You more than ever? Cause our faith to arise, cause our souls to hunger for You and the desire to live a life that will reflect Your goodness and mercies.

Lets choose to say, God we surrender and trust in Your timing and ability and not ours. Lets choose to honor God with principles that are made of GOLD! Lets honor God all the days of our lives and say Jesus, You are worthy. As we mind our own business which is to honor God’s principles and living them out, He will mind the other businesses.

Powell: Eh Mr Joshua is coming back on the 5th you know I heard Marites say!

Rex : O.O

Mandy: huh what? Serious ah! wah like that mah you going to kena whack again if you run out of the house?

Powell: =_=” I know! ish, not like as if he brings me out also, only know how to whack me!

Rex: >.<

Mandy: Haha, you all super hyper la, cannot stay at home is it? anyway staying next to the kitchen is the worst thing a good owner can do to us dont you agree?

Powell: Yalah! not like as though the pig leg and roast duck is for me also! only know how to eat themself!

Rex: =_=”

Powell: but he is the only one that plays with us in the field, and you love to east his flowers dont you? fat girl? Dont know where that small fellow came from also, act cute make papa bring him back waliao…….

Rex:  =P

Mandy: oh well, as long as he doesn’t shake his butt more than I do (thats my beauty) I know mama talks about my butt all the time >.<

hahahaha, gosh can you sense the excitement I have right now! its going to kill me anyway don’t worry I just finished my revision only I dare to imagine and think so much one haha.. anyway Daddy just got us a new Dog its a Jack Russell Terrier, its a super hyper Dog. Well whatever it is, its hard to forget Fifi, she was really pretty and amazing too =) we love you very much deep in our hearts T.T will always miss you.

This is the new guy Rex haha (I will make U FAT U WAIT)

look at the LCLY face, feel like punching right haha

super fa hao woman Mandy Moore wanna be

 

 

Honestly I wished I could just close both my eyes and be happy and just flow like how the others are doing it. However, every time I see that kind of joy and happiness glowing out of you, it worries me! As I read and hear of things there is a deep burden pressing on my heart. I don’t think the Lord can lift it up so easily, not at least this particular one, simply because it was Him who laid this burden on me. It bothers me, to see how someone I love chose to live in the moment and not choosing to live in a manner where our future is secured and surrounded by God’s best. With the rate we are handling our beliefs and principles, Christians in Malaysia will not be any different from the jokers in the Anglican Church, the very leaders whom we look up too will just become the next Barrack Obama (Mr. Yes man) yes to gay marriage, yes to abortion, yes to terrorist, yes to being nice to the axis of the evil one. Well yeah, to be honest, the cause we are fighting for isn’t a very lucrative one, those who succumbed to the world and indulge in hedonism will surely be far better of enjoying then those who chose to live by God’s principles.

Going back to a surrounding which chooses to exalt the work of the enemy rather than relying on God burdens me, returning to a nation where the wrong is always right, eats my faith. I am not saying I am the most righteous guy in the world, the mountains and serenity in Montana has shielded me from the evil of this world, but it has given me a bigger and a stronger spirit to fight! To fight injustice, to fight the trends and ideas the enemy has packaged so well. To be honest, the hardest places to fight are the places in which you are most closely associated with. The next 9 months, is going to be really interested. As I try to be more independent in every way (that means you need to find work to get a living), and as I choose to continue serving in church and in every possible area just like I use to.

*however having said what I have said, I go to bed tonight with a deep sense of burden as I look to God for answers and as I continue to deal with issues I have to deal with. I look forward to be home, but the challenges before me, seems to kill my excitement! But I believe that God will give me the grace and strength to overcome the obstacles He has set before me. Surrendering to Jesus once again =_=” God be my peace and my solution.

Boy what a day! Spent 8 hours in a bus travelling back and forth Switzerland, well Basel is in the northern border with Germany and France, while I study near the Italian border so yeah, it’s been a long day. Anyway, the trip wasn’t the most amazing trip sad to say, but it was an eye opener. This blog isn’t meant to talk about IGEHO but something else – Visions and Dreams.

I finally took the time to load songs into my PSP, so yeah I was just enjoying old school worship songs throughout my 8 hour journey. As I decent from my campus to the valleys I was just gazing into the hills and the cows and of course the amazing beautiful Switzerland scenery which I will miss badly. I begin thinking of December 5^th, the day I touch down on KLIA (I have already completed 80% of my packing, and thank God for Max whom I will most likely be studying with in UK, cause his parents ask me to keep all my winter baju at their place, cause dude think about it? Do I need them in Malaysia!)

Was watching “Freedom Writers” half way through my revision yesterday, and I was truly inspired, I don’t know if you have heard of the experiment called “A class divided” well it was part of my psychology course where we study racism and discriminations. I was so inspired by the success of the experiment I feel I want to go back school and teach again, but this time I want to teach about racism, discrimination and unity of a nation. But beyond that, I was asking God what am I going to do for the 9months, I trust that He has laid on my heart to huge projects, which I hope even as I envision in my heart, God will convict the hearts of the people involve and participating as well. One is a camp and another conference bigger than what we use to have. Dreams and visions, it’s such an amazing word isn’t it? As I grow older and increase in wisdom (or at least I hope) I tend to ask God this, why do I want to carry out this plans and visions? Why do I want to do what I feel like we should be doing now? And if the answer is because it’s for the body and for others, I would then feel the peace on my heart to carry on. I have to admit through the years of seeing so much success and goodness, there are days and time when one can feel that you caused this event to succeed. However, I pray to God I will remain far from such thoughts, some people might view me with malice, others might question my heart and motives, but as long as I know that God sees my heart I am at peace. (after all I am serving Him not others)

I believe this is a season for Unity, I pray that as God leads Pastor Kenneth with Dream Malaysia – churches will come together and unite (maybe, the challenges that we are facing in Malaysia is a call to unity? Maybe the bibles being confisticated is just the tip of an ice berg, I pray that as we are faced with more severe situations, our churches will rise up to assist and partner with one another). I believe that our part as students and school CFs also have a part to play, in this beautiful idea of unity! Its times we push aside our differences, pride and agendas and begin to grow together creating a movement among the youths in subang Jaya in itself.

I don’t have the answers to everything, of how we can grow our love for our community and how we can show we care to our society, but I pray that we will at least choose to say, God we don’t know but wont you teach us?